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Diffusing Difficult People through BaZi Profiling
Source : SME (August Issue)
Date : 1 Aug 2014
by Dato Joey Yap

From a BaZi Chart, you can ascertain the manner and nature in which a person's difficult nature will manifest when a person isn't in their best frame of mind. Realising a person is difficult and appreciating how they are going to be difficult with in their dealings with you is very useful. Knowing how to deal with people's difficult personality traits, however, is what we as modern Metaphysics students are interested in - how to solve problems, not just diagnose them!

Typically, the solution for dealing with any one of the five types of Extreme Structure variant lies in either diffusing the difficult nature of the person in question OR making more effective use of the person's difficultness. With time, you can learn to handle people in any what frame of mind and eventually harness their negative qualities. Doesn't that sound like a powerful skill to have?

It's important to appreciate that the nature of the solution depends on whether or not the person you have to deal with is in a superior position ie: someone who holds the purse strings or is more powerful or influential such as a customer or shareholder, or if the person is in an inferior position ie: a member of staff, a supplier, etc. When the person is in a position above you, you must simply learn to live with their negative traits. When they are working for you or are below you on the corporate ladder then you must learn how to keep their negative traits in check.

This month, we will look at how you can deal with those in an inferior or equal position (typically those who work with or for you).

Dealing with the Extreme Wealth Structure Person: don't take anything personally when dealing with a Wealth Structure person in their Extreme form. Ironically, Extreme Wealth types are very good at drawing a clear line between work and personal matters, so do the same when dealing with them. Their abrasive behaviour is simply part of an effort to be in charge within their work environment so don't fight their need to lead forcefully or they will resort to intimidating you or playing games in order to secure it. If you are in charge of them then let them call some of the shots to keep them sweet. In doing so, however, make sure they understand that a team involves more than one person. You may need to encourage them to share tasks and delegate work because they will want to do everything themselves if left to their own devices.

Dealing with the Extreme Output Structure Person: if you work alongside an Extreme Output type person and you have an objection to the way they are doing things, you need to be prepared for debate and to defend your point of view for a prolonged period of time before they will take anything you have to say on board. Come to discussions well prepared as that's the only way to shut them down.

Dealing with the Extreme Resource Structure Person: always have an action plan, an agenda, and control discussions or meetings to stop them from wandering or branching off into long, rambling discussions. They over think things and procrastinate and get hung up if left to their own devices. If you are in charge of them then force responsibility, commitment and decisions through legal documents, emails, contracts, agendas, time-lines, deadlines and paper trails.

Dealing with the Extreme Influence Structure Person: indeed, it is best not to expect too much from such a person, either as a colleague or superior. In their extreme state they become meek and passive and this means they are unsuited for leadership roles. If you want to avoid problems, don't put them in a position where they need to get others to do things because they will simply be unable to lead the way. If you need to get them to change or take a certain course of action then back up your instructions with the rulebook as these people are happy to do something if it is indicated as being correct by some kind of authority!

Dealing with Extreme Companion Structure Person: if you let them, Extreme Companion types will walk all over you! When you try and give back the kind of attitude they present to you then they will not respond well, perhaps complaining about being treated unfairly if you are the boss. It's critical that you enforce responsibility, set limits, demand accountability, and most importantly, say no from the get go. Always deal with the person in private as they are often emboldened when in a group. Take everything they say with a pinch of salt and always ask for a commitment in writing to protect yourself.

Next month, we'll look at how you can deal with your boss or superior if they are in an Extreme state of mind.

To discover your BaZi Profile, go to www.joeyyap.com/sme2014 and try out our free BaZi Profiler.

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Dato' Joey Yap is the leading Feng Shui, BaZi and Qi Men Dun Jia consultant in Asia. He is an international speaker, bestselling author of over 160 books and master trainer in Chinese Metaphysics. He is also the founder of the Mastery Academy of Chinese Metaphysics and the Chief Consultant of Joey Yap Consulting Group.

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